Being Comfortable With Silence

As we move into week 2 of our National Pause, I thought it a good time to talk about using silence as a strategy for encouraging language development. At first glance it may seem counterintuitive, since it would make more sense for us to encourage language by, well, talking. However silence can sometimes provide an even greater opportunity for language learning.

Very frequently parents have a tendency to talk continuously to little ones, or ask many questions without giving time to respond. There’s that uncomfortable feeling of having that “awkward silence,” so they try to fill the airspace to keep the interaction going. What they don’t realise is that they aren’t giving children, particularly those with language delay, time to process what is being said, and to respond. This silence also gives children the opportunity to initiate interaction, which is an important function as they develop their language skills.

The Hanen Program, a popular parent training program for children with language delay, talks about OWLing, which is all about being a good conversation partner. OWL stands for Observe, Wait, Listen, (you can read more about it here). I always stress the “Waiting” part to parents, as it allows the child to take charge of the interaction.

You may need to experiment with the length of time that you wait, but I generally recommend waiting 5-10 seconds for a response. It may feel strange or unnatural initially, but when you see your child start to respond it will definitely be ‘worth the wait’.

Try it out this week, regardless of if you have a toddler or an infant (coos, and babbles are responses too). Make a comment or ask a question and then be silent. See what happens next.

Hope you have a great week of magical moments.